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TL;DR You're An ASSHOLE

Hey, I appreciate you and your ideas. I agree with most of what you say. 

And just because you have an education and memorized the correct quips and references to code your conversation as sparkling wit, doesn't mean that you're not an asshole. 


I see that you believe your intellect or simply your strange and backwards sense of entitlement give you the illusion that you do not have to assume any responsibility for any offense or any hurt that you have bestowed on friends and strangers. 

Who are you?

'I'm just being honest...' You know who you are. Honesty is a virtue and you have decided to use it to mask your poor manners. There's a difference between being honest and being too narcissistic to keep your mouth shut. This is a way for you to insult people because its what you HONESTLY think, not because it's an HONEST truth. Get the fuck out of here with all that mess. You're just trying to get away with being an asshole AND get applauded for your moral virtues. 

'No offense...' Ah, you impenetrable colostomy bag. You're SLIGHTLY less intelligent than ' I'm just being honest' but just as insufferable. You see 'no offense', if used correctly, is a way to present CON-STRUC-TIVE CRITICISM. It  SHOULD be a way for you to say to your friend or acquaintance ,

' Hey now, I know this might hurt, and I'm not telling you this to hurt you, I'm telling this to help you because I want to see you do well in life, and while you may take offense, I want you to know this isn't a personal attack.'

THAT is the purpose of 'no offense.' It is NOT supposed to be a way for you to say, 

' I'm about to take as many personal attacks on you as possible and I enjoy giving you advice to reinforce my moral superiority and patronizing you makes my dick big and my clit swell and IF YOU GET MAD, you're an overly sensitive fuck who needs to get their life in order.'

And you, of course, wait for a moment to use this. Wait for a moment of weakness when your friends ask for help and you have to be careful to hide your mental erection. 

'Not all...' or 'EVERYBODY MATTERS'

Oh fuck off. You get scared because you see your behavior or biases reflected in the voices of the oppressed. You get worried because you're a 'good white person'  or 'a good man' or 'I don't see color.' Oh go fuck porcupine you little sniveling sycophant. Everybody sees color. There are differences- pretending that their aren't any trivializes reality. And you think that people striving for equality is the same thing as people shitting on others, because that's where you fit in historically. It isn't- stop pretending you're not a racist. MOST people- not all- MOST,  and MOST is enough. 


'Calm down.'

For anybody who's every had this said to them when they are venting their frustrations, I give you permission to skin their face and wear it as a vegan leather patch.

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