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Showing posts from June, 2013

Stars and Stripes

Pearls Make The Girls Crave Oysters

Curing Insomnia

I like to forget the very moment when I fall asleep. The sublime sense of satisfaction from a scheduled oblivion. When you can avoid the unpleasant descent in favor of a subtle plummet into slumber, you'll wake up refreshed, remembering how you forgot.

Because whenever I remember, I remember that my mind becomes a monster and I am nervous to face the wayward anxieties, passive-aggressive but vicious fait accomplis. It's always around to make a person so desperate to find sleep, they lose all their hours at dawn.

So I prefer to be too tired or fucked up to remember the moments when I fall asleep.

Don't Give Me That Look

I always get that look. I'm forcefully aware of its silence translated into undoubtedly harsh judgement. I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm smoking. Just smoking. But I know that look. Like I kicked a sick kid into a wood chipper.

The well-dressed women and the clean-cut men walking in tandem to the organic cults of the tattooed parents. In hardly a second. Slight and polite. Busy enough that they can't be bothered to serve me a lecture. Fortune favors me with silence. The forlorn pity and disgust crafted while the smoke disappears into the city is lost. They wouldn't dare say a word to me. I squint in the sun. They pass me by.

I don't need to see it. I feel it. But there's no reason to quit. If only to find pleasure at the expense of their discomfort. The ash swirling in each breath is worth the perceived assault.

Grant me the freedom to die in an American street. I have all my papers together. This country was founded on fucking cigarettes.

Sympathetic Solitude

Whet your delight with my lips

before I mind your company.

I wait for your collapse.

I try to find your eyes lost in the dark,

eyelashes clasped.

We can be alone together.

It's my favorite thing about you.



Scapegoating a Good Time

you're fucked up

always just fucked up

I'm always like that too,

when we talk.

I say so sometimes,

but I know better.

I'd rather not

admit myself to the facility

of your disregard.

Keep a shell

left in the wake

of an exploding heart.

Ceci N'est Pas Un Pere

I can hear him

pleading rueful delusions.

All he wants is an answer

to bring him in a little closer.

I watch his eyes

swell up again

like a fat moon spilling milk

over flooded footprints.

All the things we have in common

don't mean a thing to that man.

Despite our blood bound hospitality,

He's left his heart in darkness.

We get quiet after dinner.

We don't talk before morning.

It's too late for straining phrases.

Notes on Falling in Love For Those Who Haven't

If I loved him

He wouldn't.

If I didn't,

He would.

Yes of course;

Children this is truth.

It never works out.

Unless you have perfect timing.

Don't bet on disasters

And don't bet on yourself.

Because either the other person

Hates you because he loves you

or is totally indifferent to you.

You're either in love or numb to it

just getting your rocks off.

You just have to find the person

who can give you what you want.

Make sure they want to give it to you

Not just because you asked.

( Maybe he does

love my smile;

I love him like

I used to.

But this time it's fine. )

Gift of Gab

God gave me the gift of gab.

He does not accept returns.

So I wrote a letter to his manager.

It came back in ashes.

The envelope was still warm.

I had an angel on the phone,

but I could hardly understand him.

He mumbles.

He told me to take a look in the mirror

then he hung up the phone.

I looked.

I saw the bones of my mother fused with the eyes of my father,

I graciously thanked them both.

God banned me from his store.

My last check must have bounced.

Sailing Metaphor

I would use a sailing metaphor

to make sense of the storm

but I don't know anything about boats.

It's too dark to see the clouds;

That lazy sun

can't even take the time

to burn before us.

So I guess

You'll just have to suck my dick.

That is also a metaphor

for a total lack of backbone.