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Cursing For Beginners

So you want to learn to curse in English motherfucker?

Sit that motherfucking goddamn ass down and shove a fat cock in your mouth and shut the fuck up.

Lesson 1, Bitch.

Fuck is the best word in the English Language. Jesus even fucking said so. And the motherfucking word wasn't even invented. Bitch, that is how fuck just be does.

Let me show you fucks how fucking great fuck can be. Fuck is all you want to be, motherfucker. You can add any word in front of fuck and make it fucking rad. Bucket-Fuck or Fuck Bucket- you win motherfucker! You fuck shit up and you don't give two fucks before you fuck a fuck up.

Motherfucker is under the Fuck branch. Motherfucker is all about being fucking rad. It encompasses all the aspects of a noun. Lets get out of this motherfucker, find the motherfucker, and beat him with this motherfucker. Bernie Mac said it best- I'm just motherfucking quoting the motherfucker.

Lesson 2, Slut.

Bitch is tricky, Bitch. Bitch can be good, like your bottom bitch, or bitch can be bad, like THIS bitch. You can bitch about it, you can call a bitch, you can be bitchy, you can quit a bitch. Bitch, the world of words is your motherfucking oyster. Don't be a pussy about it bitch.

Lesson 3, Fuck-Face.

Shit. Shit is the SHIT- Shit for brains, don't be neglecting the value of the word shit. Shit on a motherfucker who makes your day shitty, and don't give a shit about it- you're hot shit. Shit is basic, but Bitch, shit is funny. Shit on a tit and mail that motherfucker back to a Bitch.

So what have we learned?

You can pepper your talk with any one of these whimsical wonder-words and people will take you seriously, respectfully, and gracefully. You'll get that promotion. You'll win the girl/boy/vibrator. You'll make your momma, poppa, granddaddy and memaw proud. They'll be singing your praises till their vocal cords burst into ecstatic flames. Your small penis will become enormous. You will be thug.

So get crackin Cunt.


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