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Creative Writing


well you must just think that you're real swell going around town with a big ol basket of dicks swinging at your hip, huh guy?

You and your fucking dick basket.

Yeah well I wish I did. I'd give just about anything to be lucky enough to swing a basket full of dicks all over the goddamn street. There would be dicks just flying everywhere around town. Dicks for all. Every child would be holding onto a dick. PLATONICALLY.


No, I go about the town with no dicks. I work hard. I don't play at all. I just piss vinegar all day everywhere I go. Pissing dickless vinegar.

Man, if I had a basket full of dicks, I'd slap everybody who looked happy. Then push them over a giant dick. Taint got nothing. Taint nothing but a basket full of dicks.

I've got small hair, no dicks, and smallish tits. You've got this basket full of dicks you're just parading around town, like a whore with dick poisoning, and you don't even have any ounce of sympathy for me? No cock to walk? Just a sulky pussy?

Get out of here. What does that even MEAN, a basket full of dicks?


It means you've hit the lottery and I'm going to write your biography.






*This piece is to be taught in Ivy League schools. Mark my words.

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