Skip to main content

Stupid or Sexy... Not STUPID sexy. Stupid.

Hey.


It's hard to be sexy when you like stupid everything. 


I'm going to lay it out for you like this:


When we met, I didn't want to make you laugh

I just wanted to get your dick hard. Funny girls don't get dicks hard. So I didn't want to be too funny.

Because that's what matters. Because I like you like that- but I would never say anything. You get bored, you told me so, that girls come and go by the time the next month rolls on by. 

I wanted to thrill you. With ambiguity. With your erection. Shit... the possibility of it popping up is enough to satisfy me. ( But not SASSIFY me )

I sincerely wanted to get your dick hard. Out of love. If it had been lust... I would have just made you sit across from me and Sharon Stoned you. But I didn't want to do that. I wanted to elicit a meaningful erection from you. Not a cheap and dirty hard dick. An attentive hard dick. 


Tell me... if you had met me and I had on overalls and walked like I had a sawed-off shotgun in my pant leg ( boot? I wasn't wearing pants.) then started spitting nonsensical rhymes about thighs eyes and pussy sighs while fellatiating a tootsie pop with somebody else's baby on my hip, you probably wouldn't have taken me out again. 

But I'm pretty sure you would have laughed. 


I've grown. Matured. I've realized that my love of stupid is innate and impossible to ignore. Stupid is funny. Smart stupid is even better. But stupid is always easier.


I'm sorry BooBoo, but I want to make you laugh AND give you meaningful erections.

But I can't give you anything hip or cool or culturally significant. I don't know what I should be wearing since what I'm wearing now is SO two years ago. I don't have a scene and nobody knows me.


All I've got is pussy, giggles, and casseroles.


But so much love. For you. And your glorious, kind, and undoubtedly beautiful penis. So much love. 


Now take it before I throw it in the goddamn garbage and some hobo finds it and claims me as his own. 

Comments

  1. Don't be so self-concious. You said you believe in love, right? Love can be arduous at times and a little bit of humor can go a long way to make those times more bearable. If a guy can't appreciate a good sense of humor, then you should probably find a new one anyway.

    Oh, and I would most definitely take you out again.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's a real treat to know stranger, thanks.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Can't Hear Your Little Red Rooster

Fright

I call this room Home.

He will not look at me

His eyes flicker with

a speck of violence.



my strained smile,

disgusted by

my pleading eyes.

my veins freeze

icy blood

tearing through coronaries




May Day

'Hope, you don't have to use it on your wedding night.'

She handed the pistol to Hope, right after the vows, right before the reception.

'I'm just kidding, darling. Don't worry. He's a good man. You did well sweetheart. He's a good man. You'll be fine.'

Hope's paper-thin smile tried to grow as she stared at her grandmother's reflection in the mirror. The mother-of-pearl grip sparkled in her grandmother's hand, bathed by the Chapel's cheap buzzing lights.

'There's a bullet for you, just in case.'

Hope had left the gun on the table.

A week earlier, drunk off self-pity, she had taken it out of its case and walked to the kitchen, where she stuck the barrel in her mouth and proceeded to take pictures of herself to send to Ray.

In a rare instance of good fortune, her phone ran out of battery before she could indulge her sense of pithy revenge. She woke up and pried open her tear-salted eyelashes then made sure to delete an…