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Dream Lover and The Crying Gay

You done showne up in my dreams again.

But this was strange because I was spooning with a black guy who's gay in real life and then you spooned him spooning me, and I was upset because well... you had showne up and I was really glad about that so I wanted to have you to myself but this guy was there. But I said he was all I needed, but I guess I just said that because he was all I could get at the time.

Then he got up and you took his place, and you said you were better than him anyway. I guess I lied to him and realized that I didn't want him as much as I wanted you. He came back and started crying and I felt bad but I didn't really feel that bad, because you were kissing my neck and I was laughing a bit and it was wonderful, really marvelous. He left to go somewhere, it didn't really matter to me, I was so happy to be rolling around in that awful little basement with you.

Then I got worried because I wondered if you would do the same to me, make me cry like the big gay black guy who was spooning me. Then a bunch of people came and it became a party I didn't want to throw and I couldn't find you and you had left but a girl I know came up to me and told me you were looking for me, you wanted to say goodbye and you had to go, so you had left before finding me. There were too many people I guess but it was alright because the fact that you had wanted to say goodbye meant that I could call to say hello.

I woke up happy and afraid and I'm nervous but I'm not quite as hopeless as I was a year ago. I guess because even if we don't ever see each other, I've got the best of you locked away in one of my mind's grandest rooms.

I wish I hadn't made that gay guy cry.


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