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Eloquent Phrases To Use in Short Stories

" Her eyes burned with the passion of ten thousand viking rapists at a Catholic Girls School."

" His eyes sparkled silver; his gaze was more beautiful than a live birth in the Tuscan countryside."

" Sometimes Sarah wondered quietly to herself about value of invention, wishing that stairs would not be taken for granted... unlike the pretentious wheel that garnered everybody's doting admiration. ' The wheel ', she thought, ' what an asshole. ' "

" Whenever Brendon wanted a sandwich, he would have an erection. Brendon was sick and tired of his erections preventing him from eating his sandwiches. It was time to take matters into his own hands."

" The young love that blossomed between them was a delicate manifestation of raw truth, like the realization made by a drunk Alabama whore that her panties are irrevocably lost to the sticky asphalt."

" Captain Jones knew that hope was nearly lost. But he kept going because he had lost his map several knots ago."

"Rhonda's feet were swelling up big and fat, like two toads that were too fat to fuck on their honeymoon."

" ' What time is it,' Clyde murmured to himself. ' Hey, Shut the Fuck Up,' said the man who sat next to him in the desolate jail-cell. Clyde turned around and stabbed him in the neck with a ball-point pen. Clyde couldn't stand bad manners.' "

" Though Mr. Shiltz was a kind man, he had a small cock. God had forsaken him because of it."

" Her breast heaved with satisfaction. She felt as if a million tiny ballerinas covered in electric blankets had done a million pirouettes all at once, all on the very tip of her clitoris."

" He loved that horse. He loved it so much that he fucked it, like Harry Potter did in that play."


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'Hope, you don't have to use it on your wedding night.'

She handed the pistol to Hope, right after the vows, right before the reception.

'I'm just kidding, darling. Don't worry. He's a good man. You did well sweetheart. He's a good man. You'll be fine.'

Hope's paper-thin smile tried to grow as she stared at her grandmother's reflection in the mirror. The mother-of-pearl grip sparkled in her grandmother's hand, bathed by the Chapel's cheap buzzing lights.

'There's a bullet for you, just in case.'

Hope had left the gun on the table.

A week earlier, drunk off self-pity, she had taken it out of its case and walked to the kitchen, where she stuck the barrel in her mouth and proceeded to take pictures of herself to send to Ray.

In a rare instance of good fortune, her phone ran out of battery before she could indulge her sense of pithy revenge. She woke up and pried open her tear-salted eyelashes then made sure to delete an…