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Who Does God Hate?

Here's a fun fact: I'm God's therapist. It has been proven by science, so don't go doubting it, you doubting Douglases.


So Mr. McBeard tends to get tired of his cloud, so he comes down and knocks on my door. I usually pretend to be asleep, but he's a persistent kind of guy and I'll eventually step out and see him waiting with his big blue God eyes all filled up with tears.


After hours and hours of tedious whining, I do have to say that my sympathies rest with him. I mean every good thing is now attributed to science and he gets the blame for all the worst things that people bring upon themselves. I can't prescribe him anything because he has to operate heavy machinery. Imagine the balance of existence if it rested on a deity who was addicted to Valium and soap operas. Yes, we'd all be camera ready, but the drama of intrigue is taxing.


Anyway, I wanted to clear up an issue that seems to preside over many a religious man's mind:

God does not hate fags. God does not hate black people or the Chinese. God does not hate Rastafarians or Pastafarians or even Scientologists.


God hates Albinos.


In hindsight, that seems pretty obvious huh?

Comments

  1. *Laugh My Ass Off*
    This post literally made me do the above.
    I thank you for making my day... :)

    lu3luscrossing.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

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