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Julian Assange: The Lord of the Nerds.

First off, anybody who gets Hillary Clinton's panties in a twist is a winner. I find that woman deplorable and it pains me to have to call her a women when she's very clearly a calculating and overly pompous pant-suit.

Second off, I went on wikileaks to see if I might dig up some dirt to make mud out of in watery conversation, but I didn't understand anything. I'm sure it's super important.

Thirdly, Julian Assange is the epitome of BAMF, and nobody can wear a shock of white hair like he can. I think that all nerds should try to amount to the cyber-outlaw hacker cowboy persona of Julian Assange.

It would guarantee a constant flow of sex for you, my lovely nerds. I didn't say it would make you a skilled master of the fuck, but you'd have techie groupies following you everywhere.

Now the point is that the nerds need a serious role model. Please don't assassinate him, world governments, or else the nerds of the world will revolt, and not only will important things be leaked, but photo-shopped pictures of world leaders fellatiating each other would undoubtedly cause tension and jealousy between them which would ultimately lead to a nuclear blitzkrieg which would then usher us in to the age of the Zombie Apocalypse.

In short, if you kill Julian Assange, you are indirectly promoting the rise of the Zombies.

Let's make sure 2012 isn't the year we carry off sawed off shot guns to shoot our infected neighbors, huh?


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