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My fabulous Ass.

Listen.

I don't claim to have an ass even remotely close to the dimensions of a Kardashian, but my ass doesn't need a congressman to represent itself. My ass stands alone, and goddamnit, it stands proud.

My ass if fabulous. It's a secret. From a casual glance, you might think it's just another white girl bone cushion, without any merit to it's shape due to it's slight size.

But I'm going to tell you right now, this ass does asses justice. It's all in the ass cleavage; the curvature of the cheeks can make or break an ass.

So maybe my ass doesn't pop. Maybe my ass isn't rapper-friendly. Maybe my ass is just a sorry excuse for an ass, brought to life by sweatpants.

But my ass won't quit, even if I threaten to resign. My ass is going to keep on keepin on, surprisingly soft and surprisingly small.

My ass will not take you in though, so don't even think about it. I don't care how cold it is outside.

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