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You look like a douche with your kindle.

I like to read too.

And you know what?

It gets HARD to turn pages.


And you know what else?

Only nerds read books.

People who don't get laid read books.

Books are for idiots.


Kindles are a great solution

To the books-are-for-losers conundrum.


It is also far safer than a book;

Those pages can be VICIOUS


You're reading a book

BUT AT THE SAME TIME

you're looking sharp with

a sleek and sophisticated gadget.


So burn all your books!

Store your life's literary stockpile

in the warmth of your kindle.


But mind the coffee,

Where books live on

tattered and wrinkled

from bathwater,


Your kindle is the hemophiliac

son of Russian royalty


You look like a douche with your kindle.


And considering you're enough of a douche

to dissuade the preservation of print,

You'd be enough of a douche to benefit

from reading some heady novel in public

So people know that, while you may be ugly,

you are so much smarter than them.


But I guess those books get heavy...


So kindle on.( You douche. )

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