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Showing posts from May, 2010

renew! refresh!

I haven't been so motivated lately,

Because I've become so full of bitter bile.

So I'm going to new york city to renew my thirst for life.

And then I'll waste it all on some guy who's intention's I've mistaken

So it goes.

I'm not complaining;
I'm just sayin.

I'm a fool for fools.


I thought I might run into you

I really wish I had because I looked so good.

It would have made you want me
If you had seen me hot in the heat

I didn't see you,

But there are plenty of days to come.

I wonder if you ever want to wonder if you'll come across my saunter
I wonder if you even care to see what's under the striped slip of a dress again

Or if this is just a mean mistake
A joke out of boredom.

shit stain.

this shit stained town

just stays the same
day after fucking day

Heavy heart heavy
footsteps in the dark

Choking on the
fumes of  rotting
wine and vinegar

letting them treat
me like a blow up doll

Day after fucking day

It's always the same
game I always lose
my name playing

I let it happen, over and over
I let it happen when I know better

Just a shit stain in a shit-stained town.

lesson learn'd

after reviewing my taste in men
And my sexual history
I've revised my standards to suit my needs:

Big Dick

Because you can't change men.
And you can't blame men because you can't change them.

But you can convince them to nix the prenup.

I wish I could.

It's not so much that I don't want to see you;

I do. I really do.

But I can't stand to remember.

For you, it's pretty easy. You just want to get lucky.

It's wouldn't be lucky for me.

I don't think I'd be able to look at you in the eyes.

You really got so deep under my skin,
I'm still trying to dig you out.

Glamour is a stupid magazine

"Tell him his member looks huge"

"Don't call it a penis-call it a cock"

"If he's cheating on you, he want space"
"He won't marry you if you don't give him blowjobs"

"Mimossaaaaasssssss :)"

"Make your man yours; how to emotionally castrate in 5 minutes"
"Bad Boys will only break your heart if you tame them right"
"How To Tame a Bad Boy with a Clever Mix of Heroin and Methadone"

"Is it normal to bleed once every 28 days out of my ( two-toned whistle) ?"

" You know that bitch at work? Make sure your clothes are more expensive"

"Cougar means at 35 + you have full jurisdiction over boys under the age of 18"

" Independent women who are co-dependent"


How much more fun would magazines be if I was the Rupert Murdoch of all of them?

They'd be more fun and printed on edible paper

Because you have to be fucking high to buy this bullshit.

A one woman harem

I spent most of the day rolling around in bed in various pairs of underwear
Because I spent part of the day rolling around in dirty pool water
out in the backyard giggling on my rasta splif
singing along to whatever stupid song I was listening to

I don't really have a bathing suit; but I have a lot of different panties.
I don't really see the difference; I like getting cotton wet better anyway.

So I rolled around my flatlands of a bed in boyshorts and bikini briefs and thongs
And sometimes in nothing at all, when I needed a break from the restraint

I'm treating my room like a Harem that's been shut down because of Hard Times.

I'm waiting to get fucked alright, but I'm not making much of an effort these days ( most days anyway)
Prince Charming is probably in jail
But Cassanova's always on call When he feels like he might need to top himself off at least

( A little nightcap after the jam? )

So come on BOY
Toss me around like a painted rag doll;
You know it feels good b…

Career Goals: Re-enactment Superstar Actress

This has nothing to do with the fact that I've been high since 8 am.

So don't even.

I was watching a documentary on alien abductions, favoring the abduction theory.

And I was moved by the raw talent and aching emotion of the wide-eyed brunette
who repeatedly got out of her car to look at the sky, most likely moved by dramatic piano noises.

And I'm versatile guys.
I'm the definition of versatile.

I could just as well be the raped jogger or the housewife with a secret tumor or the girlfriend who killed a cocktail waitress.

Now who do I have to blow in this town to make this happen?

I'm going for the meryl streep of re-enactments.

You never saw such moving replicas of situations that may or may not have happened

But take the word of my horrified face, there was a ghost in that trailor.

Muthafucka you cain't touch this.

fuck it then.

Well I say fuck it then,

I'm gonna treat them

Like I've been lettin them treat me.

I'm gonna tear through hearts

Like a little bee tears apart

A flower in the heat of spring

You all as well might be

be slack-jawed steer

electrocuted when

you wander near

my barely made bed

oh butterscotch.

I just went over the comments that have been piquing my curiosity
And I kind of feel stupid now.

Dear random asshole,
why don't you just tell me who you are?

Its going to save me a lot of heartache and I'm sure you want to let me know.

thank you dave!

Dave has been my nicest anonymous surprise ever!
Dave let me know who he was over facebook
And he was the advice guy!

That's such a relief, i can't even tell you. I know Dave. And Dave isn't bad crazy. He's good crazy like me.
Dave is like...a commentor dream come true for me.
So at least one anonymous has let me know wudditiz.

Now I still have to figure out who my april admirer happens to be; i haven't heard a thing from him in May.

Dave, you da best.

Domestic instincts.

You know I hesitate to reveal myself to you, darling boy,

Because you have been the only man to date
That evokes domestic desires I'd like to satiate

Against my better conditioned judgements,
I see your face in real life and in photographs

And I am flooded with a whim to care for you
To stroke your hair and cook for you like a Good Woman

I simply cannot rationalize
These domestic instincts of mine

So perhaps you are enlightened then, as to why I bind my tongue
I cannot give myself to you without knowing the kind of man you are

So many men would take my domestic instincts and force me into
a picket cage; You must understand that these are unconditional
and rather unexplainable desires that would serve you better than
forcing my waist into a dirty little apron while you go eat the babysitter's cunt.

Do not take advantage of my natural tendency to serve;
I only ask for tenderness in return.

artistic danger


If I really let myself experience
your art... and god knows I want to,

Then I'll really be in love with you.

And then what will I do?

I am rather unsure of what to do.

Tell me what to do.

(Meta look at that meta
physical mindfuck look
at that who is who
and what is he to me
metaphysically I am
so far gone on my meta trip
I'm never coming back)

For Robert.

I should call you Dorian,
My beautiful friend.

You are Apollo come
to life; born in the South
A vision that aches
in eyes of men

In you, I have found
a friend that I can
never forget;
A friend I will
never regret

A Good Man,
You are impossible to find;
Do not let the
frustrations of brutes
without taste
mar your incredible face

You are all the glory of Beauty
We are bound to one another
But our love is not
tainted with any hint of lust;

It is as pure as the
days of May that
blessed me with
your company

No words can
do justice to
what I want
to express:

My friend,
I love you
the shallow
name of death


I know,
I know that this
all seems ludicrously
impractical and vague.

But I'd rather let something
flourish without giving it a name.

After all, who am I to embarrass
the subject of my explicit sexual fantasies?

And who am I to disappoint the subjects
who want to be fantasized about?

And this way, when you fuck a truckload of PYTs
you don't feel bad at all, because you didn't even
realize that the story was about you.


I finally checked my grades
I probably put in a 1.0 worth of effort

So I shouldn't be too upset.

The only A I got was in philosophy of aesthetics.

Moral: Wear mini-skirts to different classes more often.

If I showed up topless once,
I probably could have gotten a 4.0.


I avoid being part of a social group
A defined little group of friends

because people influence you in the worst way possible.

Avoid defining yourself by your friends;
It will be the death of you.

So go far my child,
and meet everyone you can
stay for a moment
and disappear on
the wings of a
new wind


Long instances of distances
may unravel between
you and I

No tangled knots
of miles stretching
over state lines

Could ever dilute
the sweet wine of
my gentle desire

Thousands of hours
can die at the hands of time

My heart will go on beating
the drums of memories

I can't leave my heart behind
Risking the death of happiness

So I keep it with me
It keeps you near me

It may belong to you,
But it beats inside of me

georgia peach

I came all the way down to Georgia

But I still couldn't find a peach as sweet as you

Day and night,

I know you like me basking in the moonlight

But what do you have to say in the glare of sunlight?


That's right.
I never went to Prom.

Yeah, now my life is ruined.

and I just said, " Oh it is not worth thirty bucks"

I'm practically an old maid with a hump and leather bag hands.

So you know what?

Go to prom.

And fucking take me with you.

Show you what a real woman wants.

Real regrets. I'll show you some seriously bad decisions.


i've been missing out
like some shiiiiit

How have I not
scoped out the
hot as hotties
who LARP?

pump those cut off tees
to a motherfuckin 12

There's more than
enough rat tails
for me to wrap
around my body

More than enough
shining mullets
and cardboard swords
(with whicheth oneth
caneth make thy
penetration in moreth
ways than oneth sire...)

in a park or
behind a school

come on you fat
metal heads;
let me be your
princess lea
or whatever the
fuck it is you
fuck with


yo tho on da real?
on da real?

u r a muthafuckin crazy ass muthafuckin crazy fuck doe.

Homie u like oj on steriods at a debutante ball in georgia

U like a wet t shirt contest at mecca! AINT MAKIN NO SENSE!! YOU AINT MAKE NO SENSE!

u straight WACK
Muthafuckin dodo bird

u muthafuckin mo fuckin crazy dan dat bitch who tattoo eyeliner on her crazy bitch ass eyes

u make contestants on maury's show look like supreme court justices

u fuckin crazzzzzy doe!!!

listen holmes,

go walk yo crazy ass ass down
to the mo-fuckin doctah ass
and get yo ass some damn valium

muthafuckas AWLWAYS IN DIZ
leave my nancy parts alone oh mah gaddd

dey ain't fo u DOE!

suburban meadow

Bathed in dew
Laced with
white blossoms

Free to arch
over the green
leaves that
feel the rain

Misty midnight
calls to the rabbits;
still reflections in
the thick dance
of cigarette smoke

FYI for goobers

nathan, i know i said you weren't a goober out of politeness

But you're fucking crazy. And a goober.

Please get the idea that i am in love with you out of your head.

I don't think I've seen you in years. Lets keep it that way.


Absolutely none of the sex or love poetry
has anything to do with anyone
who I have not had the pleasure of experiencing carnally.

So don't even start with the weird love-confessions and offers...

Christ, there are some tweaks and twinks out there.


My father had a beer
with Elvin Jones once.
The year after John Coltrane died.

My high expectations for
legendary experiences are hereditary.

I think I'll be a legend too,
leaving behind a legacy of
stories behind me.

So One of My Readers went insane...

Heeeyy guysss...

So if you go and look at some comments on certain posts
No, I won't tell you which ones to read.

you'll notice that some of the stuff is a bit off.

WELL! it was confirmed that said reader has completely lost their mind ( I'm afraid I contributed with my blog...but at the same time I'm kind of flattered that the stupid shit I write can mindfuck extremely unstable people)

Said reader wanted to be my true love...
I won't go into it but let me just say: being polite is my downfall.

DO NOT feel bad for being rude or ignoring someone.

I should have tried to be mean instead of giving the minimum of my courtesy to this kid.

Poor kid though...saw it coming; anyone who takes my shit seriously is pretty much on the fast track to the loony bin. ( I am the messiah though; don't forget about my spaceship!)
I had an anonymous admirerer that wrote VERY nice things.
At this point, my only comfort are nice words from an…

what would frank sinatra do?

Oh my goodness.
Why have I been wasting so much time being such a flaming pussy?

My god, Frank Sinatra would NOT be doing this.

Frank Sinatra would call you a bunch of square cats
And then he'd ash on your dress shoes.

Frank Sinatra would not GIVE A FUCK

Frank Sinatra would smack me then throw his drink in my face
And say " Look you crazy broad; you're a doll! why are you wasting your time uglying up that pretty face with a frown? Come on Cutes, put on your Basie boots and come dance with me "

And I am CONFIDENT that a young Frank would have fucked me like none other.

Frank wouldn't let a broad make a fool of him

I mean Jesus, who the fuck are you anyway?

I'm going to make sure I do Frank proud
and live my life without care,
wind in my hair broke in california

Triflin Mark-Ass bustas.

Beautiful Girls Ain't Got Nothin on Me

Beautiful Girls!
The world turns
around to take
another look at you

You could take
a dead man's
breath away
with the wink
of a gorgeous eye

You can be cruel
We will all forgive you
You are more powerful
than thousand tyrants

But remember darling,
the world will only
give itself to Beauty;
You have been
blessed only as
its ephemeral vessel

What will you do when you cease
to hypnotize those millions of eyes?
What will you have for yourself
when Beauty dies, leaving you old
alone in the world and shivering cold?

Should you have let your
own reflection corrupt
the nature of your humanity,
Should you ignore your soul
in favor of malicious games
played with helpless hearts,

You will die a death
of decadent worthlessness.



Thoughts on reality tv and government.

In terms of governing themselves, you have to understand that people, in general, are not capable of doing so. Somebody must tell them what to do. That way, you don't have to blame yourself for all the ills of the world.

Intelligent people who understand that stupidity renders an adult helpless to the whims of ignorance, are pretty well suited to make executive decisions by virtue of their superior mental capabilities. A truly enlightened intellectual should be aware of their moral obligations, so intellect, cold hard intellect, is not enough of a qualifier for someone with the propensity for ideal leadership. I won't go into what I consider intellect but name dropping famous academics and renouncing your social life in the name of the glory of Academia is not intellect. This is stupidity in disguise.

So most people need to be governed.People need to be told what to do.

Those who are more suited with an open intellect are more suited to make valuable and progressive decisions t…

Atypical mind porno.

As I reflect on the night
and wonder what kind of
awkward 13 year olds in arkansas
have stumbled upon one of those
milk porn pictures on this here neo-novel-beat-poetry-dance troupe,

I sincerely hope at least
one strange fantasy I've conjured
is of me standing in the doorway
of a farmhouse with bare feet
a baby on my hip and a bushel
of wheat on my other shoulder
(because I'm about 35 pounds heavier in this fantasy)
while I yell, " Supper's on!"

Because the french maid thing
the school girl thing
the librarian thing,
that's a given;

I'd rather be featured in a mind porno
where I could ride a horse and milk a cow.

I already clean, go to school, and read.
That's all work. I don't want to work in your fantasies.

I'd rather have the comfort and luxury of a farmhouse.

Because I'm just that kind of girl, okay?

hey anonymous boyfriends, start doing your part

Hello !

I know there are probably several of you

anonymous cases, some boys and girls

regardless of who I hope one of you is,

you're all my boyfriends...yes even the girls.

You too, ladies, are my boyfriends

So I have an exam tomorrow.

How about you wish me luck on that?

That's what anonymous boyfriends do.

I give you erotic images; you give me academic motivation


If you've ever wondered

why I get dreamy-eyed

and lost inside my mind

It's because of Elvis

He reminds me of

what it might have been like

back when I could

have been young and alive


Sugar come over

No matter how

long of a while

crocodile, it

could always

be longer

If kisses were

gold coins,

I'd give you all

the fortunes of

every king

ever born

Sugar come sweetly

Come inside me

Let me whisper

heavy in the dark

Honey can't taste

any sweeter than

you do baby

Sugar, I've got

you under my skin

Deeper than any

man has ever been

Bruno Mars is my new and improved Michael Jackson

wait a minute.
Let me first explain
that there will always be michael jackson the artist
as the essential michael jackson in my heart.

But then michael jackson the man...somewhat odd.

Bruno Mars' voice makes me feel the same way the voice of michael jackson makes me feel.
So Bruno Mars is my living MJ. He also doesn't seem as damaged.
He also probably likes girls. I don't really know anything about the guy,
but that gives me a lot of possibilities to think about.

And unlike michael jackson, I could very well meet Bruno Mars one day.

Anyway, his voice is so delicious it's almost wrong.

Your Mom.

I'm not saying your mom sucks;
I'm just saying mine is far superior.

and remember what the GOOD italians say,
Every woman is a whore except for mama.

Now give your momma a big ol kiss on the lips.

We are all equal; some are more equal than others

When people say things like
we're all the same
we're all equal
I'd like to take a brick
and hurl it in the direction of their face.

Let me tell you why, morons.

WE ( collectively ) are all human beings.
There is no denying this.


Some are rich. Some are poor. Some are stupid. Some are smart. Some are mean. Some are nice.

Some are just a complete and total waste of chemical structures. Some will save the rest of us.

So no, we are not equal.
We are not the same.

It goes without saying that you shouldn't base ridiculous prejudices on the most irrelevant differences permeating humanity; skin color, sexuality, religious beliefs, ect. These differences are without merit; I am much more interested in individuals who make up the whole, rather than the whole as an individual.

But you should recognize the relevant differences that surpass the trivial variations in people;
The fact is, there are a lot of worthless, mean, and close-minded people.

Regardless o…


I just want a companion

Someone who I can travel with
Who will give me lots of sex.

Someone who can understand
the importance of silence

Someone who will crash a Quinceanera with me
And save me from overly drunk Mexican uncles.

Someone who will sit in a lukewarm pool
in a very strange motel playing "Clue"
with the temporary tenants

Someone who really doesn't give a fuck
about the past and the future

Someone absurd and handsome.

The Risk.

I've taken a dangerous risk
Giving you a glimpse beyond
my Great Wall of Mirrors

I will wait to see how you manifest
Either a coward or a Good Man

I've let you know, in this roundabout way
How deeply you've gotten under my skin

I've let you know without knowing a thing.

Should you take advantage of
my helpless disposition, you
are nothing more than a coward

Should you take pity on me
I should never speak to you again.

A note about prescriptive ideologies

When I tell you how to live your life,
I'm usually stoned without a shirt on,
trying to lick melted bits of chocolate off my tits.
9 out of 10 times, I'm not wearing pants.

What i'm trying to say is,
You shouldn't just take me seriously;
You should take me as a prophet
A sexy Muhammad or something.

I'm CLEARLY living the high life my friends;
So take everything I've ever said ever ever
to be the truth beyond language. know...throw me money for what I'm doing for you.

You look like a douche with your kindle.

I like to read too.
And you know what?
It gets HARD to turn pages.

And you know what else?
Only nerds read books.
People who don't get laid read books.
Books are for idiots.

Kindles are a great solution
To the books-are-for-losers conundrum.

It is also far safer than a book;
Those pages can be VICIOUS

You're reading a book
you're looking sharp with
a sleek and sophisticated gadget.

So burn all your books!
Store your life's literary stockpile
in the warmth of your kindle.

But mind the coffee,
Where books live on
tattered and wrinkled
from bathwater,

Your kindle is the hemophiliac
son of Russian royalty

You look like a douche with your kindle.

And considering you're enough of a douche
to dissuade the preservation of print,
You'd be enough of a douche to benefit
from reading some heady novel in public
So people know that, while you may be ugly,
you are so much smarter than them.

But I guess those books get heavy...

So kindle on.( You douche. )

You Fuck: A Cathartic Poem for Homegirls and Homeboys who have had their HomeHearts broken

I thought
you were
the one that got away

Oh if you could
see how many
times I kicked
myself in the
fucking teeth

And then it
dawned on me
somewhat unpleasantly,
That I let nothing get away;

There was nothing between us;
I had imagined something
out of all the words of novels

But other than a conquest
and a couple nights of
sweaty sex, it was nothing
more than cotton candy
for dinner.

I wasted all that damn distress
on a guy who couldn't have cared less.

But let me just call you a fuck,
not because you deserve it
but because I really really want to:

You're a fuck
And you fucked me
OVER and under

I let you because
I was idiotic
drugged by love

At least you got
to bust a nut.

An unknown sun

I want to stray
far away towards
an unknown sun

I will find a lover;
A lover with the eyes
of a broken statue trapped
in the vines of the past

I will hold him
by the hand and
we will leave
behind what
old lives we
crafted out
of matchsticks
and soapboxes

We won't speak
until the next town over
where we'll watch the
neon lights flicker,
fading before the
garish plight of
ageless whores
and desperate drunks

We will watch
the fights and
the vomit on the
sidewalk rot in
the glow of dawn;

The mornings will
decide where we will
go or if we will stay

The mornings will come;
I will kiss you on the lips.
We will stare at the holes
in the wall while we breathe
in the dust of lechery.

Rags of Moonlight

Sweetly softly
My baby sing
me a lullaby
of beautiful lies

If your heart
is in the palm
of another;
throw a blanket
over my cage;
Leave me in the dark

The Truth is
only as true
as its own lie.

I beg you now
spare me the
pangs of sorrow
Lie to me; tell
me that you love
me while you
close your eyes

So long as your body is true
Wrapped in the
pale old rags of moonlight,
I shouldn't care if
your words are only
a careful slight of hand

Motherfucking Unicorn.

Let me ask you,
Do you have any regard for me
Beyond the chase?

If I were a meek
weak little thing,
I'd certainly satisfy
your self-awarness
as a man; you could bring
me home to mom
a good girl.

But I am the pegasus,
the motherfucking unicorn
of women; a novelty because
I swear like a sailor
and look like a lady;
Suck your dick while
reciting Beckett

But I am so tired of this game.
So tired of feeding these men
movie lines and cliches.

I am an artwork
I am to be understood
And yet, it's a terribly difficult thing
To let somebody understand you.

So I am stuck and fucked up
by these seething defenses; these
idiot reactions are only natural
consequences to an idiotic situation.

And so onwards,
misunderstood by default
misunderstood for my own sake,
I wander the thistles of a
love life plagued with

I lied when I
praised the vague.

post modern love

I like to throw
my heart into
the air; perhaps
my hands are

I let strangers
play russian
roulette with it
waiting to get hit

when it breaks,
i find the pieces
so I can tape it
and make it
whole again

So I can throw
it and mourn
for it again.

My tits are STILL looking fantastic

You won't believe this
And I wouldn't
if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes....

Remember how I said my tits looked fantastic this morning?

They might be just as, if not MORE, fantastic now.

You better believe it,
you're missing out.

So I'm just going to give them extra attention.

My gals are my pals.
loyal and dependable,
I always know that
they'll be there for me.

The Mustachioed Walrus

See now
I have no idea what you're doing

And I don't want to know
Because by not knowing
I am free to imagine that
you could be doing anything
instead of one lonely something

And, at the moment,
I'd like to think you are riding a mustachioed walrus
Who can talk and sing various spirituals for your pleasure

Improbable; yes.
Oh no, not by any means. I've already imagined it. It exists to a degree as a possibility confined to my mental image.

And unless you explicitly deny that you are in fact on the back of a distinguished walrus,
I will continue imagining that you are singing along with the walrus.
And anyway, by negating it, you are implying that it must have been an existing possibility. you have to deny SOMETHING; you don't just deny.

I don't have time to repress the whimsy of the absurd.

Sure it's more LIKELY that you're fucking somebody
But that's not nearly as exciting to imagine.

that's so common; so expected of you!

I'd rather have you ride…

Dear Stupid Stupid STUPID goobers.

I know you think it's a GREAT idea to holler at me on the internet
because you know don't have the balls to talk to me in real life

And I know you think it's a GREAT idea to say you aren't talking to me
Because you jerk off to my nudie pics/ want to fuck me like a rabbit with downs syndrome


And I know you think i'm interested because I'm giving you some diluted conversation
But you really should be thanking the gods of boredom and procrastination for that one.

Stupid stupid goobers. I will never ever ever have sex with you.

And you're me telling me it's not about pussy?

Yeah and if I was covered in acne, wore headgear and had a weight problem, looking like some kind of pug dog,
you'd still be JUST as interested?
At least just SAY that you're only talking to me because you think i might be damaged goods and you're eventually going to convince me that you'…