The secret to life?
You have to want to fuck yourself.
I mean make love to yourself.
You have to look in the mirror and say
"Yes. I am fuckable. Yes I would fuck me."
You have to believe it though. You can't just say it.
And once you really do want to fuck yourself,
Walk out the door and strut, mamas and papas, strut.
And remember, just because you haven't had a fuck in a while
Doesn't mean you're not one hell of a lay.
Eat it Oprah.