I want to believe
That some bomb ass
handsome mofo is
reading and falling
deep deep deep into
love and any day now he'll
call to tell me.
And then we'll go and leave
all you little goons behind
and get blasted in Paris
wearing only the finest.
But really, I know I have about
3-4 dudes who have acne craters
the size of acme cartoon bombs
Who are obsessing and obsessing
and developing a plan for kidnapping me
So we can have a Klingon marriage in Idaho.
BUT I LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT THE ONE I LET GET AWAY IS READING
PS: if you really have developed some kind of obsession please keep in mind that:
I could be an old and fucked up man, trying to lure young boys to my house
None of what I write is true. But that's a lie.
Even though you think you know me, you don't. So don't even give me that nonsense about being able to take care of my emotional needs and getting to the CORE of my soul.
You probably wouldn't even be able to last a full minute, what makes you think you could be my boyfriend?
THE SAME SHIT THAT MAKES ME BELIEVE A MILLIONAIRE IS GOING TO CALL ME.