Skip to main content

America Lost a Powerful Role Model, Allow Me to Take Her Place

So Miley Cyrus doesn't want to be your kid's role model. 

I read some article on and she said it wasn't her job.

So little girls, you have to let the dream die. No more pole dancing unless it's a job. No more sexy myspace pictures unless it's a job. And it will be. Once I get through with you.

Now embrace The Nightmare!

I think I would make a tremendous role model for your daughters.

I can train them to listen. With positive reinforcement for any and every wavering of confidence

Because a good woman is a quiet woman. A strong woman is a man. And a man can't marry a man.  Ain't no room for the gays in my America goddamnit.

Learn from my mistakes, little girls. 

I can teach you how to put on eyeliner and walk in heels. 

Miley Cyrus hasn't figured herself out yet.

I HAVE. So I now assume that position. 

If I had a flag I would pitch it on her ass but I don't so I won't. 


Popular posts from this blog

I Can't Hear Your Little Red Rooster


I call this room Home.

He will not look at me

His eyes flicker with

a speck of violence.

my strained smile,

disgusted by

my pleading eyes.

my veins freeze

icy blood

tearing through coronaries

May Day

'Hope, you don't have to use it on your wedding night.'

She handed the pistol to Hope, right after the vows, right before the reception.

'I'm just kidding, darling. Don't worry. He's a good man. You did well sweetheart. He's a good man. You'll be fine.'

Hope's paper-thin smile tried to grow as she stared at her grandmother's reflection in the mirror. The mother-of-pearl grip sparkled in her grandmother's hand, bathed by the Chapel's cheap buzzing lights.

'There's a bullet for you, just in case.'

Hope had left the gun on the table.

A week earlier, drunk off self-pity, she had taken it out of its case and walked to the kitchen, where she stuck the barrel in her mouth and proceeded to take pictures of herself to send to Ray.

In a rare instance of good fortune, her phone ran out of battery before she could indulge her sense of pithy revenge. She woke up and pried open her tear-salted eyelashes then made sure to delete an…