Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from January, 2010

Some People

It seems to me that
there are certain people
that remain under
the sad misconception
that in order to 
make their 
opinions heard
they must shout.

Volume and intelligence 
work against each other.

Just because you yell about
the social carnivores you
don't quite understand
doesn't make you interesting

Just because you giggle
screech and obnoxiously hurl
unwarranted vulgarities
doesn't make you unique

Just because you 
point out the faults 
of others at their
expense doesn't
mean you aren't
a silly sad and
stupid little thing
whirling about 
your pathetic
insecurities
until someone
pays attention
to your caterwauling 
curses you spew for
attention and affection

The Sea

In times of desperation,
I throw myself back to when
I was young, spending
summers by the northern
sea; browned by the sun
of Brittany, on the coast
of my forgotten home

I ran the edge of a cliff
once, upset over a
nuance that presents
itself as an injustice
to a theatrical child

I watched the gray
sky gloat over the
blue water spitting salt
into waves breaking
over a cacophony of
stones laid to rest
for centuries to
wreck weary ships

I bathe in reverie

of my distant sea,

The foam and sand

The market and the circus
the bakery down the street

lined with tall spruce trees

I feel the heart
of my former
self beating
inside me.

Role Play.

Let's play a game,
You and I.

I'll be Sid and
You'll be Nancy.

I'll be Ike;
You'll be Tina. 

Let's Get Kinky:

I'll be Bobby;
You be Whitney.

I'll be Rick for a while;
You can be my Teena Marie.

Oh honey don't you worry,
Don't be afraid of little old me.
You'll get laid by candlelight;

I'll have you scared of 
the dark before you lose
your bubbling spark. 




The convenience of Placing the Blame.

I will blame society
I will blame religion
I will blame the University
I will blame politics
I will blame TV
I will blame magazines
I will blame strangers who shot me dirty looks
I will blame everybody I've ever met

But I will never ever
blame my family.

And What if I did?

What if I decided to let go
of my restraint and leave
my little whims to grow
and blossom into monstrous desires?

What if I listened to what my body told me?
Rejecting the furious alarm of the mind
for a delicious bit of pleasure from 
arbitrary bodies?

If it's all the same to you, there isn't merit to anything if everything has value. 
If it's all the same to you, I have grown tired of the struggle to be reasonable 
to be logical and good and pure and sound and demure;
fighting tooth and nail to shut off the valve
of pulsating possibilities so that I am
left in the Desert, thirsty and weak. 

If it's all the same to you, I'll loosen my grip but I won't let go of the reins.

Man Vs Food or The Most Disgusting Show on Television

Yesterday evening, before I saw some friends
I was with some other..."friends" who were
snowmen but chivalrous to the best of their personal extent 
and we were watching, in a haze of conversation and
vast grey ash trays, Man Vs Food. 

Of all the garbage that I've seen on television
And I do watch a lot of garbage,
Man Vs Food was the only program
that actually physically and morally
nauseated me to the point of 
irreversible misanthropic revulsion. 

The travel channel should be fined for airing it during the Haitian crisis. 

Gluttony is celebrated.
Lust is condemned or 
made a vile travesty.
Are they not both 
weighted equally as sin?

I don't understand why
this show was created
why people watch it 
ON PURPOSE
(we were all a little bit gone, and that was on the TV and no body wanted to fiddle around for the remote, so I guess we were stuck )

I don't know why 
the values of society
if perceivable solely 
through media 
revolve around
the utter depravity
of The Grotesque

Does the grotesque gi…

Adam PS: a moron.

Today I had the opportunity to chit chat with an Artist.
There was a gallery showing on campus
I showed up right at the end of whatever the Artist was talking about.
There was an upside down rainbow.
And a red wall with white lines made to mimic brick. 

And then there was Adam, the Artist.

The work itself, upon first look, provided some shallow but pleasurable aesthetics. The colors were nice. Some of them. Unoriginal, but pleasant 
I suppose a mediocre attempt at best to strive for individuality through... trivial crafts.

But then the Artist.
Was awful. As a human. Just terrible. No depth. No character. No spine. No knowledge or concept of metaphysical motivations. Nothing interesting except for the fact that he, "has no problem getting young girls naked."
Way to GO champ. I'm sure you're deep on the inside. 
Oh no..no the art says it all; you're nobody. Why they decided to give you a gallery opening, I'll never know. 
I assume your oral skills are out of this world. If…

Twilight Girl.

I have a class tomorrow. I had it yesterday
and my favorite person on campus is in it.

There is a girl. Who is somewhat round. I think she wears glasses.

She was wearing a yellow and black checkered shirt dress.
She had on striped flats. 
Right next to me. 

The teacher asked us all about our favorite celebrity
I said John Hamm. Because I'm a pretentious bitch.

And she says...in a little mouse voice all a flutter...

"Robert Pattinson. I love Edward Cullen."

A junior in college. Twilight in her heart. In her eyes.

And that's how I knew. Thats how I knew she was my favorite person. 

So girl who's name I don't know...
I hope you meet a man named Edward Cullen and I hope he sweeps you off your little feet.

Valentine's Day

Is it weird to think painkillers are romantic?
Valentine's Day is coming up.
Whether I'm alone or not,
it's going to be romantic. 

I just think that opiates and 
kisses are a nice celebration of tenderness.

Provided neither of you get nauseated and vomit...

I know what i'm doing.

you'll just have to trust me on this one,
i know what i'm doing and it's nothing
at all that should be of alarm to you. 

Don't worry. Don't test. You're winning. 

I'd rather have a steak than a pretty little desert.

Scott Brown circa 1982? Yes Please.

I just saw those pictures
of that hunky hunk Scott Brown
in an old Cosmo scanned onto a webpage

And I say... he should just win.

There needs to be sex appeal in politics.

There needs to be sexual tension. 

Because... that's more exciting than jerking off behind a podium. 

What a hottie. And yes it's okay because he's on Jesus and Santa's good list. That's the perk of being a GOP nominee. They skype with mythical figures.

So I say...scandal? No. I don't see any bits. I just see a good looking man who likes "slinky girls". 

I'm so in for a nomination next whenever.

Waste of Time

It has suddenly become clear to me,
after having so much time to think
while I drown out the sound of 
an instructor masquerading as a parakeet
reading from their informative sheets

I have spent too much time entirely
being romantic and maudlin,
lost in that poetic gauze
sobbing for whatever cause
my throbbing little heart
decided to fixate and rotate
around and around

Saving myself for an invisible
Prince. Some Prince. Virtuous 
in celibacy; such wretched idiocy.
I'll save that bloated corpse of misery
for when I'm old and without regard

But I'm young today
Fresh and lovely,
Charming and delightful
(when I like to be )

Instead of dwelling
on the apathy of some
I should just revel 
in the desire of many

And so, let me begin to 
feed from the trough of
lust that motivates; let
me smile in passing
when That Stranger
starts begging with his eyes.

Morality, as I would see it.

Objective morality
explained simply. 
By yours truly.

You are to enhance 
the pleasure of another. 

Moral decisions should
be based on their 
positive consequences

Ideally, a morally sound decision
enhances the pleasure of both the decider 
and those affected by the decision. 

A sadist ( without consent )
is making morally unsound decisions
because they are acting to reduce
the pleasure of another for
their own pleasure. 
A symbiotic relationship between sadist and masochist can be considered moral because the masochist experience their own pain as pleasure while a sadist experiences the masochistic pain as their own pleasure.
There is a certain logic that can dictate moral decisions without regarding societal conventions which may deem certain actions immoral. But these immoral actions are simply immoral because they are unusual and misunderstood. Not all, but some. 
People who do not wish to

enhance the pleasure of another
did not satisfy their own necessity
for self satisfaction 

In order to enhance the…

Inner Dialogue

I swear to fucking god, I get so fucking sick of writing love poems all the goddamn time.

stupid stupid love poems.

why don't i just snag a dick and stick with that
and write about some famous whore's ass
or a pedophile's new reality show
whatever whatever whatever

it's easy to fall into love
then getting that shit
out of your fucking
clothes is near impossible
Bleach will only burn your skin
BECAUSE LIFE IS SUFFERING  
AND TO LOVE LIFE IS TO SET 
YOURSELF UP FOR ALL KINDS 
OF MISERABLE CLUSTERFUCKS

it's all been said before
it's always being said 
right now 
right then
in a little while

the same shit in different colors
and always with
fucking
LOVE

why why why 
LOVE isn't
even REAL
we made it up
so our genes
could keep 
on going on 

Why can't i just get famous rich and mean already.
i just want a marble house on top of a diamond 


Pictures

you took pictures of me
one night when we went
back to your house.

I decided to wear your hat.
You told me you liked my dress.
You called me beautiful. 

You told me your favorite
was the one where I was laughing.

Beauty

I will never again
apologize for being 
beautiful; I will 
enhance it and
wear it with 
the utmost dedication
like a solider fighting
for the dew drops
that gather on
violets left 
to the sun

I won't pay mind
to the jealousies
sprouted from
vindictive but
wholly miserable
mouths that gnaw
for angry relief 

I won't succumb to vanity
cruelly casting aside my decency
batting eyelashes bashfully


I will not give in to Beauty
Malevolent gift; I will
not starve my soul 
To drudge through
the fading light 
of the setting sun
mourning a lover
dead and unfaithful

I wish I had a Pimp's Encouragement

I decidedly need a father figure in my life,
Mine moved to Africa a couple weeks ago. 

So I'd like to have a Big old Pimp take care of me
I don't mean like...take CARE of me

I mean just to talk on the phone once in a while.
Someone to give me advice and maybe take me out to get ice cream

When I'm not so sure of myself or I don't know where my life is going
I wish I could pick up the phone and  He would say things like,
"Sweetie, I see a lot of girls who throw their lives away. You're going to be fine! You're young and you're pretty sweetie, you'll find a good man who can PROVIDE. Here's 20 dollars for coffee and cigarettes so you can finish your term paper. And if it doesn't work out baby girl, there's always tomorrow. Tell you what...you want to go to the zoo with kiki and me? yeah? Will that make you feel better? Ima take you to the zoo."

Just strong words of comfort from a strong pimp. 
Preferably a gay pimp, so he doesn't try anythin…

Dick Hunting

I'm very excited for the semester to start. 

Would you like to know why?

For the Hunt.
The Dick Hunt. 

New semester means new eye candy. 
New eye candy means I get my safari binoculars out

And I eat up all those sweet little boys in class. 

As for TALKING to them...
why on earth would i do that?
I like to avoid disappointment.

They're just steak that hasn't been cut up yet. 

I'm not a butcher; I'm a cowboy. 

It's nice to keep yourself stimulated without actually having to deal with consequences.

I've learned the hard way that unzipping a guy's pants is just a euphemism for opening Pandora's Box. 

So I'm going to keep that box LOCKED the fuck UP.

My mouth

My mouth is in such a state
That i don't know if i'll 
ever be able to give blow jobs again. 
It feels like a tow truck is flooring it
trying to take my gums to the impound lot. 

Please pelt me with painkillers if you see me. 
Throw them at me violently, so that I have to duck for cover. 

I have to keep my jaw slack for any semblance of relief
So I look like backwash from the mountain hills
slack-jawed talking like I have twelve marshmallows
hidden inside my awful awful mouth.

Reality Show Idea

It seems lots of TV 
programming is 
dedicated to 
praising and examining
the lives of especially
fecund mothers. 

I say, let's up the ante
Take all the fecund
females and their
thousands of children
and stick them in 
a big old shoe.

Then get them drunk 
give them sequined tube tops
and a man to fight over,
Then film it for big bucks

We could call it
Fertile Footwear:
The Ultimate Shoe-down.

A this very moment i am...

suckin down ashy roaches
like i was a hash hoover

watching VH1 reality shows 
It's not even 3 oclock and
I've already shot the day

I've spilled coffee on my
flannel and my shirt's
had this stain since 
last july

My feet are covered in dirt
My glasses are crooked
My mouth feels like
there are elves in cleats
tap dancing inside my cheek
There's ashes on the couch
on the floor on the table on
my keyboard on my clothes
cookie crumbs and tea cups
festering on the table

I woke up because the cat wanted food
I rolled over and I realized I had been
sleeping on a cigarette butt the whole night.

wandering ghost

A Wandering Ghost
Where does he go?
Pale and grey like
the day he was born


I saw him once.


He hides between

strangers who walk
quickly down the street; 


no one can see him
him as he leaves
behind a trail of
pale grey tears 

It goes On..

More of the Same From Last night

The Scarf

( I hope he remembers my body. These and the coming series are to remind him.)

Female Readers

Dear Female Readers,
I want to see more of you. I really appreciate you reading and hopefully relating. a lot of my writing is gender bias and I think that women should learn to become a more cohesive group instead of pitting ourselves against one another for the sake of petty jealousies.
I got your back. Not your man; your back.
So females, I love you all. Let's stick together so we can survive in the Patriarch ( ain't nothing changing anytime soon)


Sung From The Body

All the things I wanted to tell you
I told you with my body

I guess you weren't listening
Maybe you couldn't understand

I wish I could sing that
same song again with
our lips and fingertips
trickling over each other

I wish I could tell you now what
my body was saying back then

I wouldn't be happy for you

Would I be happy for you if you found the love of your life?
FUCK
NO.
I would throw a fit
I would cry and scream
And lose my shit and
lock myself in my room
till I forget what what
makes the difference
between night and day

I'd be miserable for you
Because I wanted to be the one
to make you that goddamn happy. 

28 pills

28 pills to
dull my pain.

every single
one reminds 
me of you 

it's always the same
when I take them
it's like the
soft breath 
of leaves on
the sidewalk are
whispering 
while we walk
together again; 

I remember
when you 
told me they
were your vice;
I don't
know why 
I'm still in yours

Every time 
I think about 
your lips on
a stranger's
neck I wish
I had never
swallowed 
those pills 

Favorite Things

It's been a while
long long while 
like that Staind song
maybe it's not staind
but I'm pretty sure it is,
it's been a while since 
I've got to enjoy this but
one of my favorite things
ever ever is when 
somebody takes my hands
and holds them
above my head on the bed
then kisses my neck
and then we kind of
look at each other
with heavy lidded eyes
Before I writhe towards them to
grab their lips with my own.



Secret Agent... Takes a Bath

I don't remember if I had these up before
I apologize if I already put these up.

Between the Lines

( I fell in love with you 
but I knew you were
not in love with me 
so I withdrew my
company and even
though I like to 
think you loved me
too I know this simply
isn't true and I was 
just Another Girl 
to keep you busy
for a couple weeks and 
I wish you could be 
Another Boy to me
but you were not 
I was terrified 
that you'd find out
that I was yours all
yours that I had stitched
my sleeves from my own heart
and I still can't leave it alone
even though I know you
haven't given it a second thought
I can never tell you god knows
I want to but you would laugh at me
And so would She you'd both laugh
until you wiped the tears from each other's cheeks)

Partner in crime

I think I may
maybe have 
found a partner
in crime. 

I don't want to jinx it.

But I really do think 
that I may have
finally found 
another person
who could read
my satellite signals,
Who's satellite I can read. 

I wasted time pining over you,

But now I'm going to pine over someone who's worth it.

Guidos, I'd like to date you

Provided you have a bachelor's degree.

But really, isn't that what I want?

A nice italian boy who likes to eat. 
I'm part italian, so it's all good. 

And after watching the jersey shore, most of them have a lot of respect for women sometimes.

And cross tattoos are cute. But whatever, that would be the masculine ying to my feminine yang.

Yeah! That's it! I'm gonna wrassle me a guido. you just WATCH.

Dedicated to the Histrionic Girl on "Intervention"

I have absolutely no sympathy
for cutters and anorexics and
bulimics and addicts who blame
every fucking person around them
and think that they owe themselves
the luxury of self destruction because
"no one cares"

I'll tell you why no one cares.
Because you don't give anyone 
a reason to care about you. 
Yes, it's true but no one cares
about your whining 
and complaining and 
self pitying bullshit. 

You don't want help.
You want attention. 
In the worst fucking way. 

 You wouldn't want to be around someone
who constantly must be force fed compliments and reassurance
Well, neither does anybody else. That's you. No one likes you because you make it IMPOSSIBLE.

Grow the fuck up. 
Listen, I know it may have been rough for you
Maybe you had a bad childhood
molested, raped, something awful. 

But you know what? you fucking
persevere. You don't dwell on it.
You don't just give up and make
everybody else's life a living hell 
Because you got dealt some bad cards.

No, I have no …

Bitching and Moaning

I BITCH AND MOAN 
on this medium 

so that I can keep it 
to a minimum in real life.

So that way I get to listen
to all your IMPORTANT
and TRAGIC qualms and 
complaints. 

I hope you know I'm saving you
thousands of fucking dollars, ingrates.

Oh...

I don't know why
I've been giving out
the benefit of the doubt
Like food stamps,

Clearly it was all for
the sake of a nice little trophy
to add to your inane collection

That's what it's all for.
It's always for the sake
of bragging rights.

Something to laugh at
with your drunk ass friends
A story that proves you are
indeed a man; no no THE man.

That's what it'll always be.

That's why I'm going to 
drain your bank accounts. 

It's only fair.

WHO'S THAT HOTTIE?!?!?!

Little old ladies

When things get bad
when I don't know what to do
I like to think that there's a nice
old little lady somewhere in the midwest
who's rooting for me. Who reads this and 
prays for me because she knows the curses
are just for show; nothing but sensationalism 

I do depend on the idea of kind strangers.
There simply isn't anything more pleasant
than unconditional and unwarranted kindness. 



I will never say a bad thing about you

Perhaps it's the slight sick 
from the medicine lowering
inhibitions, but I must say
that I will never write
a  mean or hurtful thing 
about you. Ever. ever. 

You, unlike the others, had character.
This character, to me, seemed to be
of a caliber that is almost impossible
to find in the real American world. 

Perhaps I'm wrong. Perhaps
you are a brilliant actor 
You gave me a performance 
that would have Brando 
weeping on his knees 

But even if I am wrong,
the afterglow of my childish 
affection will prevent me 
from ever disliking you,
no matter what you do. 


Cat lady

I'm going to be a Cat Lady
You might be an asshole
A needledick 
A douche 
A fuckfaced moron

But you still have a more fruitful future than I do

I'm just jealous, penis envy. 
I just wish I had one and I don't so I shower affection on pussy cats 

So I might call you stupid
A douche
Ugly retarded
a waste of time
a waste of atoms
a chode 
a fat fuck

But hey, this is a future cat lady hurling silent insults.
It should be a compliment.

Why did I ever send you pictures?

A while ago, 
I sent you some photographs
Not particularly scandalous
Rather tame in comparison to the rest
But they were the ones only I had seen.
I knew you wanted some pussy shots
Some naked sprawled out porno pose
But I wasn't about to give you those. 

Regardless, I can't believe I wasted xanax
on a conversation with you 

I can't believe I wasted an hour of oblivion
on your account; trying to make you feel young.

I can't ever get that hour back
But I can take comfort in the fact
That I'm young pretty and ruthless;
You're just a nervous old fool.

ohhh no.

it has occurred to me
that I am going to be AWAKE
(albeit "relaxed")
while total strangers 
are digging ditches
in my mouth 
with tools out
of a child's nightmare

I am going to have holes
where my teeth should be

This is unpleasant. 
This is wholly unpleasant. 

I am going to look
like a chipmunk.

Let's see you jerk off to THOSE pictures. 

Greed/ Pig With Lipstick

You ugly little pig,
You want a taste?

No. A taste won't do. 

You want to eat
every cake in the shop
Don't you?


You want to paint
your fat hooves in sugar
crumbs; you'll lick 
your lips waxy red 

You'll eat
them all because
you think you can;

Go on, shove your
snout into the cream
But don't forget to breathe.

You don't enjoy it, do you?
You just eat and eat
Like a mindless boar;
You just eat and eat 
You won't 

stop until
you're satisfied

You won't stop
until you're dead

One day you'll wake
up starved and chained
to your own company

You'll be beaten by
your love for sweets
With no one to listen
to you cry for mercy 
As they cart you off
to the slaughter house

So go on, little pig. Eat. 


Ramble

Oh I ramble
Yes I ramble
I would be 
born a rambling man
But I feel like a woman

I ramble and you'll 
ramble with me
through the bramble
Ambling  aimless
with nowhere in mind

That's how
We'll find 
Everywhere
Together 
You and I 

Blue Morning

I hope the sun will
dazzle my eyes as
I lure myself away
from the comfort
of my warm down

I will rise and
fill the kettle 
set it on the stove
light the gas 
and wait while
the sky calls out
blue morning

Stagnant Woman

And perhaps it's merely a phenomenon that
slipped out from the societal womb after the men were born
That brainwashed millions of little girls who
wanted to make Daddy Happy

But here untouched I am as good
as a pool of stagnant water that
festers slowly in an orange sun 

What good is my soft skin if it doesn't please another?
What good is the valley of my waist rising
to meet the hip if the only hand that touches
it is my own in absent minded thought?

Waiting Waiting staying Awake
For the sake of dreaming with 
open eyes the dreary company
of a man who exists in less than
two dimensions trapped in my
luxurious imagination

Not Fair.

NOT FAIR
Why can't I get over it?


Your cock has probably been slung around the block

WHAT AM I WAITING FOR?!

I don't know. It's frustrating that my asphyxiated libido won't override the utter disgust manifested through outstanding regrets. 
My insomnia would be a good excuse for me to flee the scene after he's finished. 
I want to give it up to everybody but I can't because of Market Value. So I give it up to nobody and maybe in a few years I will have become chaste again and that would be the end of that. 

WHERE DID MY LIBIDO GO??

Too many post secret post cards. Obviously.

The internet v real life

This might come as a surprise,
But I am no stranger to the internet.

I am a stranger to many of you all however.
I understand how one might stumble and 
adopt the idea of familiarity with me based
on their loyal literacy.

However, people tend to forget that what you see
is a two dimensional representation of certain aspects
of a 21st century female mind and imagination.
It is my words you read. 
We are hardly engaging in a conversation in the way we would be over tea or coffee.
You do not actually have to endure my physical presence. So you are left to wonder.
This creates the possibility for you to tailor the concept of an individual
in order to suit your emotional or intellectual needs.

This is nothing to be ashamed of; in this day and age many people succumb to their own  fantasies fueled by strangers we think are friends. We become more alienated from social reality, thinking we are making headway because we've lowered our inhibitions. We can be more or less at ease with an idea of a person …

I love my blackberry so shut up about your damn iphone

I know that an iphone can 
tell the future as well as time
I know the iphone is the zenith
of all that is good in the world
I know that when you buy an iphone
your dick automatically doubles in size
I know that an iphone is more desirable
than most women and most men


But I say....


Fuck you iphone,
I love my blackberry
Because it makes me 
feel needlessly important
AND business ladylike casual
And I am wholly satisfied
hearing the click of the buttons
It makes our relationship better
And our sex life thrice as nice
So when I send a text
it's not just a Sup

It's a Sup from my BLACKBERRY.
Probably sent to an iphone.  


Who wants to buy me an iphone?

You look like a Queer.

I didn't want to say anything before,
But when you held me so long ago,
I felt like I was in my mother's arms.
You look feel and sound like a queer. 

That's why you couldn't make me cum.
:)
As for the rest of you....you just didn't know what the fuck you were doing. 

Save for one. One out of (no comment) did it right but I was all wrong.

A Diner

They sat in the 
milk of buzzing
lights above 
their wrinkled
clothes 

The waitress
was busy talking
to the fry cook 
who didn't have
enough orders
to distract him
from the lace
peaking through
her blouse 

The coffee was
stale and burnt 
but they kept
stirring silence
pouring cream
and letting
the spoon do
the talking 

When they left
it was morning
and they got 
stoned in the
parking lot

He drove her
home but he
did not kiss 
her goodnight

New System

I think that from now on
my only standard for the opposite sex
will be whether or not they have an extravagant name

He can be as dumb as an autistic mule
And as cruel as a Las Vegas cougar
But he can't be ugly unless he's loaded.

Nona

In a city by the sea
her laughter sounds like
shells brought to the shore

By sparkling blue waves;
They carry her thoughts
over and beyond her
apartment where 
she tenderly watches
her flowers grow 
beautiful blossoms

Oh Boys...

Hey nice guys,
Don't. 
I am shallow like
a gasoline puddle
spitting back 
rainbows

I don't want
your sycophantic
butterfly kisses

I want a partner
in crime and you
are a police officer

Project your loneliness 
on a silicone princess, not me

I don't want tenderness
Just because you will offer it

I don't want anything from you.

College Park

In the disorienting
moments before waking,
I kiss solace because
I don't realize that 
I'm still living in this ugly
nasty and dull little
city graced by
Stupidity in 
a sweatshirt

The Game Will Eventually Belong To Me

One day I'll get back 
from a charity auction
to my manhattan penthouse

I'll take my diamonds off my neck
and toss them on the floor 

I'll take my pearls off my ears and
I'll toss them in the garbage 

I'll let my hair tumble
down over the straps 
of my vintage Dior dress

I'll roll a joint of the finest weed
money could ever see 
I'll use gold leaf papers


I'll sit down on my leather
couch  but I'll keep my
stilettos on my pedicured toes

Then I'll listen to 
The Games Belongs To Me
And let UGK take it away


Didn't Expect To See you There While I'm in My Underwear

Celebrities

A lot of people assume
that they have something
in common with celebrities
because they have similar 
names or they enjoy 
similar trivial things

That's the way it should be
Religion gave a reason 
for why we have to 
tolerate living 


And celebrities
make us hope
that we can 
reach a status
of famous 
immortality 
that forever
gives us a 
little star
in the collective
consciousness
of humanity 

The bright side
is that they have
to wade through 
the shit too, and
boy do we enjoy
devouring 
the pleasure of 
watching their
dirty laundry
get washed by
thousands of 
anonymous eyes

Because if we don't make it,
At least we can boast that
we didn't get addicted to meth
and if we did, it doesn't matter
because we aren't worth a rat's ass. 

Spoiled

Spoiled;
Rotten like
a green egg.

You think 
you're lovely
company 
but I would
prefer to 
cuddle 
with a dying
banshee 

You think
the world 
owes you 
a favor 
but you really 
owe the rest
of us some 
peace and quiet

All you've
got to look 
forward to
is a lifetime
of crushing
disappointment

Rap Song

To prove a point. The point being that most rap songs are terrible. EXCEPT for the ones I like .

Ey ey ey yoo
ey yo ey yo 
I get up out
my benzo just
to ride up in my
enzo just to   
make dem sloppy 
hos go OOOOO

Yeah cuz Imya maine bitch
Not Gucci Maine bitch
Got my riches and my tits
And I be ballin while
yall fallin and I'm 
callin all y'all
mans cuz I can
And they ran
to my pussy poppin
palace where the
service is da best

Yo dick don't get no rest
When it stays up in my nest You think you past the test
But the truth is he's da best


It don't matter if you white girl
it don't matter if you black
As long as you got booty baby
As long as you got back  

Belief V Reality

I want to believe
That some bomb ass
handsome mofo is 
reading and falling
deep deep deep into
love and any day now he'll
call to tell me. 

And then we'll go and leave
all you little goons behind
and get blasted in Paris
wearing only the finest.


But really, I know I have about
3-4 dudes who have acne craters
the size of acme cartoon bombs
Who are obsessing and obsessing
and developing a plan for kidnapping me
So we can have a Klingon marriage in Idaho.


BUT I LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT THE ONE I LET GET AWAY IS READING

PS: if you really have developed some kind of obsession please keep in mind that:
I could be an old and fucked up man, trying to lure young boys to my house
None of what I write is true. But that's a lie. 
Even though you think you know me, you don't. So don't even give me that nonsense about being able to take care of my emotional needs and getting to the CORE of my soul. 
You probably wouldn't even be able to last a full minute, what makes you think you could be my boyfrie…

Fly Bird Fly

Oh sweet sparrow!
How awfully stupid
of me to have let
you perch upon
my bony shoulders
without a cage 
to place you in
when you grew 
restless

How thoughtless
to have left your
wings intact so
that you could
fly from me
when you 
tired of my
company 

I should have had you
kept an unhappy prisoner
bound by my heartstrings

It didn't occur to 
me that I should
tether your
delicate feet to 
my delight and desire;
It seemed to me a cruel
fate for a bird so free

I simply let you
fly away one morning
and should you
come and perch 
again I would be
more than tickled
to receive you

Old Security Guard

Today an old security guard
paid me a compliment 
without any preconceived 
conditions. I blushed and
smiled awkwardly as per usual. 

It was awfully nice of him
to tell me I looked nice.  

I hope that his wife loves him.

Whoreathon

Sometimes I think that
The best way to fix my
sad little brain is to
go on an all out
all expenses paid
whoreaton. 

You know, just
stretch a bit before
And then go all out
and let whatever
grimy ogre put
his chubby fingers
all over me. 

How is that supposed to make anyone feel better?
It doesn't. It's just another subversive way to self-destruct. 

But at least I would be getting laid. 
It's a man's world, it's about time I trained myself to think like a man. Because there isn't any room for my womanly sentiments out there in that barren womb of a world. 
A violent lesson learned
And a sad truth I'll never forget.

I hate you.

you made me look
like a fucking moron
you needle-dicked
asswipe. THANKS.

God I hope you 
get hit by a bus. 
And then spend
the rest of your
life shitting in a bag.

I hope you're laughing now
Because you've got a few years left
before you start hanging around
high schools waiting for naive pussy
Fucking sluts and getting an STD

You fucking moron.
I can't believe I let
you make a fool of me.


I never thought I'd say it
But I fucking hate you.

One day

One day I'm going to find a depressed man
while I'm depressed and we will both 
bring the best out in each other and
Then that will be that.

Alarm

ALARM!
how do i convey you to others?
Like this?
I am alarmed.
OR 
Like this
!!!
OR
Like this
I AM ALARMED!
OR  
Like this
The internet ends in 2012

Camille: Sexy Bear?

I like to think of myself as a sexy bear.
Chillin all up in my cave 
Lumbering around and
eating and eating and eating

Until I get a nice ass
...
ass and titties for playas
To play up on.

Thick like honey
The jawnts I eat 
Sweet treats
For this sexy bear.

Catatonic Girl

Catatonic girl 
rusted shut 
against the
pillows

trash and
ash build
a fortress
around her


Catatonic girl
Lost ironic
girl pretty
tired little

girl smile
for a while
child maybe
it will become
real tomorrow

Double Standard. Such bullshit.

If I told you that I haven't slept with anyone in a few months,
not only would you think I'm lying to you,
But you'd still call me a whore because of my pictures.

You'd just call me a lying whore.

So if I fuck ten thousand penises, I'm a whore.

If I'm celibate, I'm still a whore. 
(Yeah you want girls to be "pure" when you purchase them, blessed ceremony... but you always end up fucking the office slut somehow. Oh no of course, you can't help it. But if she looks twice at the mailman, you'll be sure to choke the spunk right out of her. men are supposed to spread their seed. I get it I get it Jerk-Off.)
Either way, I'm considered "loose" 
because of altogether unfair conventions.

I know now, while you fuck bitches,
It's alright, it's condoned by the patriarchy
It's SWELL! Good for you guy, good for you.

But me, I can kiss a guy and my moral
character is scrutinized within an inch of its life. 

JOKES ON YOU

I don't have a mora…

Long Night.

Depression

People tend to use depression loosely. 

To say you are depressed generally connotes that you feel sad or blue or upset about something.

It usually won't last longer than a few days or a few hours. 

But when you feel sad or blue or upset, you can pinpoint the feeling. The feeling comes from within. 
You don't feel anything when you're manipulated by depression. Depression is more massive than your emotions. 
You wake up and you convince yourself that it's all in your head,
There's nothing to worry about and there's nothing to be upset about.
Today is the day that will get you out of your festering hole. 
So you don't worry. You aren't upset. You can't feel anything but the stifling silence of all your emotions and motivation. 
You assume the characteristics of a brittle shell.
It's like you slipped into a glove made from the leather of ambivalence and apathy that soaks
through everything you do. It's watching everything happen around you
And you are ther…

Never let Delusions think for you

I let my delusions 
make my decisions
And now I'm like a 
block of dry ice
Too cold to melt
Chipping away 
snowflakes


Now I think back 
All I feel is a deep freeze;
The kind of regrets that
Furbish alcoholic dreams

I used to wake up with 
my face caked in salt
I don't have the luxury
Of tears anymore;

Numb like the gums
Of an addict when
I think about you
fucking all those
other girls.

America Lost a Powerful Role Model, Allow Me to Take Her Place

So Miley Cyrus doesn't want to be your kid's role model. 

I read some article on Cnn.com and she said it wasn't her job.

So little girls, you have to let the dream die. No more pole dancing unless it's a job. No more sexy myspace pictures unless it's a job. And it will be. Once I get through with you.

Now embrace The Nightmare!

I think I would make a tremendous role model for your daughters.

I can train them to listen. With positive reinforcement for any and every wavering of confidence

Because a good woman is a quiet woman. A strong woman is a man. And a man can't marry a man.  Ain't no room for the gays in my America goddamnit.

Learn from my mistakes, little girls. 
I can teach you how to put on eyeliner and walk in heels. 

Miley Cyrus hasn't figured herself out yet.

I HAVE. So I now assume that position. 

If I had a flag I would pitch it on her ass but I don't so I won't.

If I was a motivational speaker

(For contextual reasons please imagine me wearing a neon tracksuit and a headset. As well as peroxide all up in my hair. And those sweet mom reeboks...you know what i'm talkin about. As well as dilated pupils that make me look like that bassist from limp biscuit. I'm sorry, brisket....bizkit?)
WELCOME AUDIENCE
WELCOME AND HELLO! HELLO! ARE YOU READY?!

Come on guys, that was WEAK

ARE YOU READY?!

HOOOOOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

So you guys are here because...by all rhyme and reason, society has considered you a failure.

You for example; you're an ugly woman. And that means you've failed as a wife. Not married? Figures. No one wants to swim in your gene pool lady.

Oh you're a man? My god...you have the breasts of an angel. 
How much money do you make?
Six figures? Listen...you're practically in a coma from all the ugly beating you in the face... you're gonna need more than that to be considered at all worthwhile. 
And you... you're pregnant and ten.
And fat. How are yo…

This is what I imagine most of my audience is doing at any given moment

It doesn't hurt to dream.
A cock in your ass hurts.

(I don't know why the text is purple and underlined, but it's fitting)