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John Basedow

John Basedow is a male

Butterface.

It's really disconcerting. 


But that jingle is beyond brilliant


"It's Fitness Made Simple.

Made for real People."

Hell yeah. It makes me want to get Fat so I can lose weight so I can be a Real Person. 

And it's true. IT's very true that it's fitness

MADE simple because we all know

that fat people are also mentally challenged

Or else they wouldn't be fat, right?


Yes it's Christmas (technically no, it isn't)

 but I have a cold

I'm surly and 

I'm awfully hazy tonight

But not the kind I like.


So instead of pondering the state

of American Culture and devising

a fool proof plan to usher in a golden 

age of hedonistic pleasure and decadence, 


I am getting down with John Basedow commercials. 


Check out this Hunk:





Here's a kleenex. Go clean up. 

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